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the girl in the red dress

I look at my reflection in the mirror. I wear a red dress with flowers. It's a beautiful summer dress, looking slightly vintage with the high neckline and the lower part from the the waist on rather wide and flowing. It makes a beautiful figure and the colour looks bright and positive. I've never worn a dress like this before.
Mostly I wear dark dresses. I've never worn many dresses before but since 1-2 years I started to love them. But they are usually black or dark blue.

I know that he would've been happy to see me in a bright dress like this. In general he used to say I wear too many dark clothes. But he did not know about the abyss in my head and most of the trouble I had. But it's okay. I think it was better that way. He would've worried too much.

Now I wish he could see me. Who I became and how I changed. That I wear nice dresses now. That I actually feel like a woman even though I feel much younger than I am. But I also feel I've grown up more since he's gone.

I wish we could talk. Have a cup of coffee together and just talk and smile at each other. Share nice memories together. Hug each other tightly.
Just him ... and the girl in the red dress.
7.8.17 14:51
Letzte Einträge: a memory that lingers, letting go...... , Christmas....., Forever lost, In der Tiefe, I watched you die

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